IMPROPER LANGUAGE USAGE

TO:                 ALL SPANISH STAFF 
SUBJECT:    IMPROPER LANGUAGE USAGE

It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our establishments that offensive language is commonly used by our Spanish staff.  Such behaviour, in addition to violating ESA’s policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to visitors.  Staff will immediately adhere to the following rules:

1.  Words like coño, carajo and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis no matter how heated the discussion.

2.  You will not say lacagó when someone makes a mistake, or la está cagando if you see someone being reprimanded, or qué cagada when a major mistake has been made.  All forms and derivations of the verb cagar are inappropriate in our environment.

3.  No project manager, seaction head or administrator, under any circumstances, will be referred to as hijo de la gran puta, el muy cabrón or el comemierda.

4.  Lack of determination will not be referred to as falta de huevos or mariconería, nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as capullo or acojonado.

5.  Unusual or creative manager’s and director’s ideas will not be referred to as pajas mentales.

6.  Do not say cómo jode if a person is persistent, or está jodido if a  colleague is going through a difficult situation.  Furthermore, you must not say ¡Qué jodienda! when matters become complicated.

7.  When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say vete al carajo, nor should you ever substitute “May I help you?” with ¿Qué coño quieres?  When things get tough, an acceptable expression such as “We are going through a difficult time” should be used, rather than esto está jodido.  Additionally, if you make a mistake, just say so and do not say lacagué.

8.  No salary increase shall ever be referred to as subida de mierda.

9.  Under no circumstances should you call our elderly industrial partners los viejos gilipollas.

10.  Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say me voy a limpiar el culo con ella.  Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.